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Why connection is vital for your relationship to survive and how to get it back.

Beck Thompson


It might sound obvious, of course we need to be connected to our partner for our relationship to survive, yet you would be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t) how many couples are just coexisting together.  Their relationship has become what some would describe as ‘bland’. And yet their relationship is surviving.

The issue with this is that it will reach an expiration date and either you will wake up one day and think what has happened to us? Or you will stay together and be miserable.  Both of which are not desirable outcomes.

Why is connection so important?

Connection is that bond, the glue that holds us together. Having a connection is how we get through difficult and challenging times together, we know the other person has our back and that they understand on some level what we are going through.  Connection occurs on many levels in a relationship – emotional, physical, spiritual, intellectual etc and over time if a relationship continues to grow and evolve, then the levels of connection will deepen.

But what happens often in a relationship is that people forget to work on the relationship and they think that relationships should be easy and just happen.  So people go about their lives, putting in work and development into career, business, kids, friends and the relationship slowly over time disconnects.

How do you get the connection back?

First of all, not all is lost.  If you have recognised that you are feeling disconnected from your partner and you are willing to make a change then you can get the connection back and you can often get it back better than it was before.

  1. Start by communicating – discuss with your partner where you feel the relationship is at and how you would like to see it different.  In this conversation take 100% responsibility for the role you have played and don’t use blame, justification or guilt- otherwise you will end up disconnecting further.
  2. Be conscious and intentional about your actions – after you have discussed the issue and how you could connect again then it needs to remain at front of mind for both of you.  This needs to become your priority now (which means that you might have to make space for it to become the priority)
  3. Maintain a culture of respect and appreciation in the relationship – keep conflict productive and free of name calling, thank each other and practice gratitude for who each of you are and what you both bring to the relationship.
  4. Check in, check in, check in – remember to keep the dialogue open.  Check in with how you are both feeling along the way.  This increased conversation should boost connection too. So it is a win win.

The most important thing after this is that you keep making your relationship a priority and keep working at it.  Don’t let it slip away and become disconnected again.

Register for my free 7-day Building Connection Challenge to learn more about connection and be supported along the way.

7 Day Building Connection Challenge

08 June, 2020